I am tired of hearing her beach
Today I spend much of day in club. I am not ze type of man det jump at woman's command nor do I carry cell phone. But my vife think I should always be ready to answer her call because she no trust where I be.
I vork hard to make club success. Vit it not easy to take monies from poor son-of-bitch all day. I must be at top of my Russian game. Then I have Grama come to me with problems at docks. Grama needy dis, needy det! I have NO time to talk these problems while I take monies. Grama distract me and so did det muderfuck-ing phone in office. Vife calling again. SON-OF-BEACH!
So vhat happens Teddy KGB? I fuck-ing lose most of ze chips because I no pay attention to hand. It's fuck-ing joke anyvay because Sally make his hand on ze fuck-ing river. Piece of shiit Sally think he is very big man now stick it to Teddy KGB, but noone stick it to KGB. I lose anger again and turn table over on Sally. He be ah-k, but now Teddy KGB must lose more game to Sally to keep him coming back to club. Det fuck-ing woman vwith her telephone ringing cost me monies!
I come home and all I hear is det woman calling me lazy. No russian ever lazy! Drunk, maybe, but not lazy. NIET! And she stand in way of TV and make me miss good part in ze Magnum P.I.
It's fuck-ing hard day...and I no need hear her complain when it is I who bring home ze monies for her to buy more fuck-ing shoes then she have feet.
I vork hard to make club success. Vit it not easy to take monies from poor son-of-bitch all day. I must be at top of my Russian game. Then I have Grama come to me with problems at docks. Grama needy dis, needy det! I have NO time to talk these problems while I take monies. Grama distract me and so did det muderfuck-ing phone in office. Vife calling again. SON-OF-BEACH!
So vhat happens Teddy KGB? I fuck-ing lose most of ze chips because I no pay attention to hand. It's fuck-ing joke anyvay because Sally make his hand on ze fuck-ing river. Piece of shiit Sally think he is very big man now stick it to Teddy KGB, but noone stick it to KGB. I lose anger again and turn table over on Sally. He be ah-k, but now Teddy KGB must lose more game to Sally to keep him coming back to club. Det fuck-ing woman vwith her telephone ringing cost me monies!
I come home and all I hear is det woman calling me lazy. No russian ever lazy! Drunk, maybe, but not lazy. NIET! And she stand in way of TV and make me miss good part in ze Magnum P.I.
It's fuck-ing hard day...and I no need hear her complain when it is I who bring home ze monies for her to buy more fuck-ing shoes then she have feet.
2 Comments:
Hysterical, man. This is Brian Koppelman. Wrote the movie with David Levien. Hilarious.
Vwhat wrong vwith you Mr. big shot Kvoppelman! Teddy KGB should have been star of movie, not det Matt "darling boy" Demon. In Russia, dey call dis movie "Mad Russian Teddy KGB play ze cards like crazy son-of-beach", not Rounders. You and David hurt Teddy KGB feelings because you no make movie about me. Not even Saturday morning cartoon about Teddy KG-Muderfuck-ing-B! You and David come back to club because I'm not done stcking it to you.
Ah-k, Even though you no make movie about Teddy KGB, I still love you guys because Dimitri tell me you guys make Vwalking Tall movie vwith dat Rock man. So I guess you two guys are ah-k in Teddy KGB book.
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