Free from magic Oreo kingdom

Akay, so eet has been qvuite some time seence Teddy KGB make entry on blog machine. Back in 2006 of April, I vwas having big party at my club. Teddy get big head and invite many peoples. Normally I vwould prefer keep my club on low down, but large amount of monies come in from phone card scam, so I drink too much Vwodka, get cuckoo idea to have rave party at club and get pinched. At least I vwas big hit making deejay for peoples det night.

Eet turns out one of my idiots, det motherfuck cossack Aleksei, is feeding for Feds and they pinch me for counterfeit phone card scam and other non-important bullsheet. Aleksei is bedtime with the fishes vwhen I find him.

So, I make prison for 17 months and now Teddy is back to heez club. Teddy does like the cards. Plenty of time for cards and football in prison, so eet not so bad.

Sasha find vway to nag me even in slammer. She vwas upset dat she must take care of Boris while Teddy out on 17 month "Magic Oreo Cookie hunt.” Da fuck did that bitch tell Boris I vwas looking around world for magic Oreo cookie. She make Teddy look like village svweetpants.

Teddy will make typing on blog machine for you more soon. I have only been out of magic Oreo kingdom for 2 days, and Irina is bringing friends tonight. I must stick it in them!

Get your KGB groove on!

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Monies, monies, monies!

Sasha come by club today and drop of det child she says is my son. She says she has modeling job and can not have Boris vit her. Det lying whore does not have modeling job unless someone iz looking for lying whore vit man features. But I have not much time for Boris today. He spend time vit Demitri, who teach him how to play ze cards. Dimitri tell me Boris smart boy vit cards. Maybe he TeddyKGB son after all.

Irina, my mistress, come by club after Sasha leave. She ask for monies. Monies, monies, monies! Always wanting monies deez woman. Instead, I give Irina rabbit fur coat.

Shipment from Nova Scotia come into docks yesterday and I have Grama collect percentage from Serbs. Seven fur coats, 200 cartons cigarettes, some boxes of cell phones and 10 boxes of det caviar. So, Irina happy vit coat, but no time I have for ze sex today. I had many cars to ship out to Argentina and Grama can not be trusted vit dis task.

Everyone around me is idiot! Boris is only little boy of eight, but if he iz smart like Dimirti says, den maybe I can teach him ze TeddyKGB way. Besides, Stalin like det boy and dis is good play friend for Stalin. It keep him from always chewing up my fuck-ing TV remote vwhen he is bored. Now if only Boris can get det dog to stop eating hiz own shiit!

I am tired of hearing her beach

Today I spend much of day in club. I am not ze type of man det jump at woman's command nor do I carry cell phone. But my vife think I should always be ready to answer her call because she no trust where I be.

I vork hard to make club success. Vit it not easy to take monies from poor son-of-bitch all day. I must be at top of my Russian game. Then I have Grama come to me with problems at docks. Grama needy dis, needy det! I have NO time to talk these problems while I take monies. Grama distract me and so did det muderfuck-ing phone in office. Vife calling again. SON-OF-BEACH!

So vhat happens Teddy KGB? I fuck-ing lose most of ze chips because I no pay attention to hand. It's fuck-ing joke anyvay because Sally make his hand on ze fuck-ing river. Piece of shiit Sally think he is very big man now stick it to Teddy KGB, but noone stick it to KGB. I lose anger again and turn table over on Sally. He be ah-k, but now Teddy KGB must lose more game to Sally to keep him coming back to club. Det fuck-ing woman vwith her telephone ringing cost me monies!

I come home and all I hear is det woman calling me lazy. No russian ever lazy! Drunk, maybe, but not lazy. NIET! And she stand in way of TV and make me miss good part in ze Magnum P.I.

It's fuck-ing hard day...and I no need hear her complain when it is I who bring home ze monies for her to buy more fuck-ing shoes then she have feet.

Stalin have gas today

Cards are cold like tit of Russian witch today. I spend most of my time watching Total Recall. Det Arnhold is crazy son-of-beach. He take trip to Mars, git lots of ass and stick it to det slutty dike from basic instinct. If she open legs and show me her manda, I stick it to her like only Teddy KGB know how to do.

Dimitri det asshole get cheap dog food from Benny ze Arab again. Now Stalin stink up my club and keep people away today. Benny have very good Oreo cookies for me, but dog food no good. That muderfuck-ing Dimitri is useless son-of-beach at times. But he is strong like Russian ox. Last night, after I close club, Dimitri, Ivan, Yakov and I give a visit to little weasel named Seamus from Woodside. I find out det stupid Irish shoescum vwas selling stolen phonecards in little Odessa all last vweek and he not give Teddy KGB his cut.

All I want is what is mine and expect people to show me ze respect. Det Irish midget Seamus disrespect me by selling in my territory and then disrespect me by pointing toy gun at me. vwhat he tink by pointing 22 at Teddy KGB. Dimitri take gun and smash vwith bare hands. I don’t say what I do to Seamus, but there are no more lucky charms for det fuck-ing green midget.

vwas good day

Today vwas good day. Dimitri had to ventilate Sugar for not paying off his debt to club, but dis vwas only ting make me sad today. Sugar was nice man, but Teddy KGB don’t dance on playground vwith dis kind of shiit. Pay dis man his monies or I make bullet deposit in your bank of ass!

Teddy KGB is mean son-of-beach

Ah-k, I must git somesing off my chest. My vife is driving me crazy. She says det I am not good fadder. But she trapped me, it is not my child, but all ze time she say “I want check, check, check”. Det beach only wants to steal my monies.

I vill not pay det woman her monies...but I can not go to court, no-way. no-way American judge tell me I must pay det beach.

But if I have grama kill det woman and if she not lie about det child being my son, I may have to deal vwith him no longer loving me.

Teddy KGB is mean son-of-beach, but I vwould love my son even if he no like ze buisiness I am in.

I have no time to deal vwith dis woman right now. Teddy KGB must git tiasty cookies and open club. Son-of-beach dog piss on carpet again dis morning. No fuck-ing time for dis shiit!!!! I name dog Stalin, I tink he be strong like former Soviet leader, instead dog is…how you say… uncvoordinated and slow, he not smart enough to catch stick and eats hiz own shiit. Is very bad dog and is actual son-of-beach. I have no idea who det dogs fadder is. I must git to club.